Say Good night Gracie

Back in the day when phones were actually tethered to a wall via a cord, back when it was a privilege to have a phone, I can fondly remember the day I first got my "princess" slim-line telephone in my room.  My sister Sara and I shared a phone line and it was understood that we were not to be excessive in our usage.  Unfortunately for me my boyfriend at the time went to prep school in Avon, CT.  Who knew that calling him was a long distance call, after all, it was in the same state!  I remember coming home from shopping with mom and my sister Sara was outside, when I approached the house she said, "Your in trouble" with a sick smile on her face.  "Why?...What did I do?" I asked.  "I am not telling, go inside and see for yourself" she devilishly replied.  I took a big GULP, and walked in the house, on the refrigerator was a telephone bill, high-lighted, with line-item, and clearly broken down into "user minutes"...beside my name was $100!  OMG!  I turned around and dad was standing behind me, I tried to plead, I tried to ration, I tried crying, whaling and gnashing of teeth.  My dad would have none of it.  I'll never forget his marching up-stairs, two steps at a time, going into my room, bending down and grasping my poor princess phone and with the look of sick and twisted glee he asked me if I had any thing else to say, I said "dad I'll pay you back", he said he couldn't afford for me to pay him back, I said I'd stop calling my boyfriend, he said it was too late, he then said to me, "say good-night Gracie"(homage to George Burns and Gracie Allen-it was their signature sign-off on their TV show)...I said "good night Gracie" and the phone was ripped out of the wall in one angry jerk...I was like the IV being ripped from a sick patient, and the lights went out...my world, my sweet teenage world, ruined!  Sara later told me that something similar had happened to dad when he was young and his father did the same to him,  he admitted to her he hoped he would have an opportunity to reenact the event with one of his kids one day, sick I tell you, sick!

On "the elitist"...

"The issue today is the same as it has been throughout all history, whether man shall be allowed to govern himself or be ruled by a small elite."
-- Thomas Jefferson

Words of our fathers

Recently I have begun posting quotes on my Face Book page that I find inspiring and completely relevant to this day from our founding fathers.  Remembering what their struggles were and what brought them to this place called America to create a truly unique government unlike any other.  A country that has been envied and hated in the same breath.  It is something that my father fought to protect by his service in WWII, and others like him that take up-arms to protect us today.  My father once said his children were "bookends"  The eldest and the youngest were more conservative, the ones in the middle were liberal.  I won't tell the entire story so that I don't rustle feathers.  Knowing how my father felt about politics, America, service to our country I have decided to post the quotes on my blog as well.  I hope you will enjoy, be enlightened, and inspired to take action.

"It will be of little avail to the people that the laws are made by men of their own choice, if the laws be so voluminous that they cannot be read, or so incoherent that they cannot be understood; if they be repealed or revised before they are promulgated, or undergo such incessant changes that no man who knows what the law is today can guess what is will be tomorrow."-- James Madison, Federalist no. 62, Feb 1788

Ok this one is a little vulgar I apologize in advance

When I would want something like a new outfit, a toy or even a car, (depending on my age of course!) I would go to dad and ask for whatever it was that I wanted.  Dad would very bluntly turn to me and say "Suzanne, shit in one hand, and wish in the other and see which one fills up first!"...dad was obviously trying to teach me to WORK for the things I wanted, however, dad usually gave me what I wanted! Because of dads generosity the analogy really never resonated with me, except for the really bad mental visual!  But I have to share this, when I was a vocational teacher in San Diego I often used "Rollinism's" during the day, esp. if we as a class were in clinics.  One day  I walked pass a students desk and notice that her note book was open and she was writing down all of my dads sayings.  In shock I asked who's notebook it was, one of my students, slightly embarrassed confessed that it was  hers and asked if I was upset about it.  I questioned her motives, because as we know dads sayings were very colorful to say the least, she said she really enjoyed them because they made her laugh, but also had a lesson...you can't imagine how touched I was that someone else appreciated dads "words of wisdom" as much as I did.

A dogs day of reckoning

Dad could tell as story so vividly that all you had to do was close your eyes and it would run like a movie trailer in your mind's eye.  He told me once of a time when he was a kid, probably 7 or 8 would be my guess, when he was a newspaper delivery boy.  He said there was a house on his route that had a small dog that he would tease and taunt by running along the fence with a stick to provoke the dog knowing that the dog wasn't able to get to him because he was behind the fence with a closed gate.  As was the norm the dog would bark like crazy when ever dad came along.  One day, as was the custom, dad did his usual torment with the stick and the fence only this time, unknown to dad, the gate was open.  Dad ran along the fence with the stick, but this time when he came upon the open gate he realized the error of his way and knew the dogs day of reckoning was upon him.  I asked what happened next, dad said "I don't recall, my only memory is that when I got to the open gate and saw I we were face to face, right before he took me to task, I swear I saw that dog smile".

Dancing with Dad

Some of my favorite memories of dad are:

• The smell of his cologne 
• the kisses that nearly made me deaf when he came home from work
• as a little girl, dancing with my feet on-top of his
• his signing along with the music
• hearing his childhood stories at dinner

Some of my favorite memories of mom:

• hot chocolate and warm jammies, (she would put the jammies in dryer),when I came in from playing outside in the snow
• almost anything she cooked, LOVED her full-on chicken curry with the works YUM!
• being her "Sunday girl" which meant dressing up and going out to lunch.
• White Linen perfume
• being the room mom for my kindergarten class

"If you want to soar with the eagles you can't hoot with the owls"

This one went right along with, "It's the early bird that catches the worm...and...early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"  This was dads attempt to, in my opinion, change my circadian clock!  Mine was set to go "high energy" late afternoon, early evening.  Dad was always up at the crack of dawn, he felt that if I followed suit good things would happen, why I don't know.  He was known to say, "Nothing good happens after midnight"...obviously dad completely forgot what it was like to be a teenager, because in my teenage mind EVERY thing good happened after midnight!  Dad never managed to convert me, although there are many days now that I wish he was successful in his endeavor!

Rollinism #3

"Children are like hemorrhoids, you always have them, some times they come out and bother the heck out of you"  Hummm, being compared to a hemorrhoid wasn't my favorite analogy, nevertheless he used it and it left an obvious impression on me.  The funny thing about this "isim" is that dad LOVED his kids and his family.  He and mom would often go to their TV room upstairs on the premise to "get away" and be alone. One by one dad would go to the top of the stairs and call each of us up to "talk" with us once we were all together he'd say "what the hell are you all doing up here your mother and I wanted to be alone!"  This was the irony of dad.  To this day when I go through personal items I have of my parents, I am always struck with the fact that every letter, every card was initiated by dad he wrote them, he addressed them.  Mom would add to them but she was not the driving force of the card or letter.  I cannot say I know many men like that...and I am proud that I had a dad that cared enough to remember birthdays and anniversaries and take the time to shop for a card, write a personal note and send it.  We were really lucky kids.

"A Coward dies many deaths a brave man dies but one"

I'll never forget the first time my dad said this to me, being a young child and very visual I thought it would be better to be a coward because being 7 years old I wanted to live a long life and several sounded even better!   As the years crept by and he would say it again, and a again I realized he was trying to help me face my fears.  I was always afraid of confrontation, afraid I'd upset the person I needed to confront or loose their affection or friendship.  My dad would try to help me face my fears using this biblical quote.  It wasn't until he added, "the worse that will happen is they'll stop being your friend, and if that happens they were never were your friend to begin with." That some how liberated me, who would want to be friends with someone you couldn't be open and honest with!  I must admit, the first time I confronted someone that I feared the outcome it actually was a very positive experience.  She appreciated my honesty and actually thanked me.  It is a principal I live by now, it is still hard even at 48, most everyone I know fears the unknown and possible rejection.  Thankfully I have been blessed with a father that encouraged my independence and forth-righteousness.  I know now who my friends are with out a doubt, the truth will set you free, it really will.

"Be reasonable, do it my way"

I laugh even as I write the words...dad loved a debate, even encouraged it, but when pushed came to shove and he wanted to end the debate he'd say those famous six words, "be reasonable, to it my way".  I love those six words, although I needed to use them with my children but failed too.  The logic totally illogical, but somehow made sense.  I am convinced it was the mechanism that became my inner voice, you know that voice, the one that tells you "go left not right", or "put down that hot fudge sundae" or "you know you can't afford that" the one that for me sounds like my dad.  He has become my conscience, how great is that! I mean I often wonder is it MY voice my kids hear when they are about to make a grievous error in judgment?  I think I need to ask...I'll let you know in my next posting.  Until then, when you are fighting something and it just isn't working, remember those six little words, "be reasonable, do it my way"  and think of that person in your life that you thought usually had all the answers, and ask yourself, what would he or she do at this moment, and there you will have your answer.