Dancing with Dad

Some of my favorite memories of dad are:

• The smell of his cologne 
• the kisses that nearly made me deaf when he came home from work
• as a little girl, dancing with my feet on-top of his
• his signing along with the music
• hearing his childhood stories at dinner

Some of my favorite memories of mom:

• hot chocolate and warm jammies, (she would put the jammies in dryer),when I came in from playing outside in the snow
• almost anything she cooked, LOVED her full-on chicken curry with the works YUM!
• being her "Sunday girl" which meant dressing up and going out to lunch.
• White Linen perfume
• being the room mom for my kindergarten class

"If you want to soar with the eagles you can't hoot with the owls"

This one went right along with, "It's the early bird that catches the worm...and...early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"  This was dads attempt to, in my opinion, change my circadian clock!  Mine was set to go "high energy" late afternoon, early evening.  Dad was always up at the crack of dawn, he felt that if I followed suit good things would happen, why I don't know.  He was known to say, "Nothing good happens after midnight"...obviously dad completely forgot what it was like to be a teenager, because in my teenage mind EVERY thing good happened after midnight!  Dad never managed to convert me, although there are many days now that I wish he was successful in his endeavor!

Rollinism #3

"Children are like hemorrhoids, you always have them, some times they come out and bother the heck out of you"  Hummm, being compared to a hemorrhoid wasn't my favorite analogy, nevertheless he used it and it left an obvious impression on me.  The funny thing about this "isim" is that dad LOVED his kids and his family.  He and mom would often go to their TV room upstairs on the premise to "get away" and be alone. One by one dad would go to the top of the stairs and call each of us up to "talk" with us once we were all together he'd say "what the hell are you all doing up here your mother and I wanted to be alone!"  This was the irony of dad.  To this day when I go through personal items I have of my parents, I am always struck with the fact that every letter, every card was initiated by dad he wrote them, he addressed them.  Mom would add to them but she was not the driving force of the card or letter.  I cannot say I know many men like that...and I am proud that I had a dad that cared enough to remember birthdays and anniversaries and take the time to shop for a card, write a personal note and send it.  We were really lucky kids.

"A Coward dies many deaths a brave man dies but one"

I'll never forget the first time my dad said this to me, being a young child and very visual I thought it would be better to be a coward because being 7 years old I wanted to live a long life and several sounded even better!   As the years crept by and he would say it again, and a again I realized he was trying to help me face my fears.  I was always afraid of confrontation, afraid I'd upset the person I needed to confront or loose their affection or friendship.  My dad would try to help me face my fears using this biblical quote.  It wasn't until he added, "the worse that will happen is they'll stop being your friend, and if that happens they were never were your friend to begin with." That some how liberated me, who would want to be friends with someone you couldn't be open and honest with!  I must admit, the first time I confronted someone that I feared the outcome it actually was a very positive experience.  She appreciated my honesty and actually thanked me.  It is a principal I live by now, it is still hard even at 48, most everyone I know fears the unknown and possible rejection.  Thankfully I have been blessed with a father that encouraged my independence and forth-righteousness.  I know now who my friends are with out a doubt, the truth will set you free, it really will.

"Be reasonable, do it my way"

I laugh even as I write the words...dad loved a debate, even encouraged it, but when pushed came to shove and he wanted to end the debate he'd say those famous six words, "be reasonable, to it my way".  I love those six words, although I needed to use them with my children but failed too.  The logic totally illogical, but somehow made sense.  I am convinced it was the mechanism that became my inner voice, you know that voice, the one that tells you "go left not right", or "put down that hot fudge sundae" or "you know you can't afford that" the one that for me sounds like my dad.  He has become my conscience, how great is that! I mean I often wonder is it MY voice my kids hear when they are about to make a grievous error in judgment?  I think I need to ask...I'll let you know in my next posting.  Until then, when you are fighting something and it just isn't working, remember those six little words, "be reasonable, do it my way"  and think of that person in your life that you thought usually had all the answers, and ask yourself, what would he or she do at this moment, and there you will have your answer.